Guide to Getting to Know Other INTEGRAL Guests

Getting to know new, unfamiliar people can be socially anxious for many autistic and some non-autistic people. Since INTEGRAL is a place where guests are encouraged to make connections with each other, we offer this guide to help anyone who may be feeling nervous or confused about socially appropriate ways to get to know people at the conference.

1. Introduce yourself to those around you. Letting others know your name is the most essential part of an introduction. It’s also helpful if you share something about what you do for a living, or what you are studying, or what autism issues matter most to you, or why you decided to attend the conference. Sharing whether you are autistic or non-autistic is especially helpful. If you are non-autistic but are neurovariant in some other way, such as having ADHD, consider sharing this, too.

You don’t have to share any or all of these things, but it’s OK to do so. Sharing such details usually helps others understand, predict, and support each other better.

2. If something about the current topic or about the conference seems interesting or important to you, share this with the people around you. You can start with a basic version of what you think or feel about it, and then provide more detail depending on how others respond to you. 

Progress cannot be made on important issues unless people talk about them. Sharing perspectives, experiences, suggestions, and resources can help solve bigger problems.

3. Ask the people around you what they think about facts or issues that seem interesting or important to you, give them time to share their ideas, and then politely share what you think or feel about their ideas. Let them do the same to you.

It’s OK to politely disagree with people whose ideas are different from your own. In fact, two or more people calmly discussing why they disagree with each other can be one of the most productive ways to examine issues and gain new perspectives.

4. If you feel comfortable with a new person and are interested in knowing more about them, consider asking them about more details of their job or goals, or about their interests, hobbies, favorite books/movies/shows/games, or other things that you might like to know about or make connections over.

5. Remember that people in general, and autistic people in particular, have many different styles of communication. Be patient, kind, and supportive about people whose method of communication is different from your own. 

If you are struggling to communicate in some way, it’s a good idea to ask others around you to be patient and supportive of your communication needs. If you can be specific about how they can be supportive of you, this will help them support you in a clearer, more direct way.

We hope these suggestions help you have good conversations and connect with interesting and helpful people!